Am I Lying to Myself
by Ishida Kat
Summary: Eventual 1x2 shounen ai. 3 years after the Eve Wars, an unwanted someone shows up at Duo's door with a mission, only to have the door slammed in his face. Rated for language.
1. Chapter I

Obligatory Disclaimer Type Thinige - Chapter I  
  
Kat: Welcome to my pathetic attempt at a 1x2 Gundam Wing fanfiction.  
  
Duo: I've been after you for HOW long with this idea?  
  
Kat: ::sweatdrop:: It's been quite a while, hasn't it?  
  
Yama: The only reason *he's* been on you about it is because it involves him.  
  
Duo: Yeah, so? I've been waiting 2 years for this fic. I deserve it!  
  
Yama: So do I, Shinigami no baka! What about that songfic to "The Motivation Proclamation" she owes me?  
  
Duo: You haven't been here as long as me, wait your turn Ishida.  
  
Kat: Speaking of not being here. where's Jou-kun? I'm short a muse here, and I *really* don't want to drag Yohji-kun away from primping. Chaaa. Jou- kun's not playing Duel Monsters again is he?  
  
Yama: Of course he is. That or hunting down some food.  
  
Jou: ::skids around the corner, panting:: Gomen! Got caught up ina duel! What'd I miss?  
  
Yama: ::snorts:: A lot. Your obliviousness amazes me, which is saying something considering my Tai-chan. What you missed was us yelling at her for not finishing any fics.  
  
Jou: I 'eard she does dat a lot.  
  
Duo: ::nods:: Believe me: you've no idea.  
  
Kat: Urusai minna!! You all know quite well that I'm lazy and don't want to write!  
  
Yama: NANI?! How many unfinished fics do you have lying around?! You write all the time, you just don't ever FINISH anything! Even with US yelling at you!  
  
Kat: But writing involves effort. I don't want to DO anything.  
  
Duo: Then why do you do it?  
  
Kat: I dunno.  
  
Jou: Ano. Ain't dis supposed ta be a disclaimer?  
  
Kat: ::clears her throat:: Anyway, yes, this is a FANFICTION. Hence, written by a fan. I do NOT own Gundam Wing. There isn't enough blatant yaoi in it for me to have written it. I'm just borrowing the characters, but I promise I'll return them (though asking to have them returned in 1 piece is pushing it). If you want to sue me, all you'll get is pocket lint and a bottle of black nail polish. Also, I need to inform everyone that although the first 4 pages is my own creation, the "cruse/mission" idea is actually borrowed off of a Weiß Kreuz fic called "Something New" by Deena, who I love and adore and worship. This fic is no longer up on ff.net, but I'm fairly certain it is still in existence. If you find her, BEG her to continue this fic. So, alas, I'm just BORROWING the "cruse/mission" idea, since I needed a (and I quote my insane ramblings) "circumstance with no escape". Everything else about this fic is my own demonic creation.  
  
Duo: Do I have to be such a bastard in this fic?  
  
Kat: Remember Duo-kun, you hate Heero-kun in this fic. That's why you're so mean to him.  
  
Duo: ::grumbles:: Like I could ever hate Heero.  
  
Yama: You've got a history of hate-makeup fics, you sadist.  
  
Kat: URUSAI!! We need to stop talking and get to the fic!!  
  
Jou: ^___^ Enjoy minna-san!  
  
Kat: Now, back to my filthy evil I guess... (A treat to the person who can identify this quote)  
  
NOTES: "____" -speaking  
  
'____' -thinking to oneself  
  
* * * -scene change  
  
(A/N: ) - author's notes  
  
ADDITIONAL AUTHOR NOTES: I am basing the speaking patterns off of the American dub version. Though I own the first quarter of Gundam Wing on bilingual DVD, I am more familiar with the dub, I'm sad to say. So, bear with me in that aspect. Heero may also be OOC, I'm not sure. I'm trying to write him as a person who's been around society for almost 3 years, learning to adapt at acting human. Also, excuse the overabundance of Doc Martens. They're my favorite boots, and I think everyone should wear them! Lastly, I'm a Tshirt and jeans person and have no fashion sense what-so- ever, so making outfits for everyone is really hard; so excuse the unoriginal and repetitive clothing ideas. Alright, now enjoy the fic.  
  
~*~*Am I Lying to Myself*~*~  
  
Heero Yuy stood outside of apartment 24B. He'd been standing there for about 15 minutes, banging on the door, knowing damn well that the occupant was there, he just wasn't awake yet.  
  
It was a chilly Saturday morning, AC 199, and one could see the effect that the 2 and a half-year cease-fire had had on the once stoic ex-Gundam pilot. He still kept his dark brown hair cut short, but his face was a bit softer than it had been. He wore his trademark green tank top tucked into blue jeans, an open white button up shirt, and 10 eye black Doc Martens.  
  
A slight frown tugged on his mouth as he began a fresh assault on the door. He'd stand here until the door opened; just whether it was by him breaking it down or the occupant opening it had yet to be seen.  
  
Finally a muffled "Coming" percolated through the door, and Heero let his hand drop down to his side, clenching it into a fist as he took a step back. He wondered what kind of reception he would receive, and prepared himself for the worst.  
  
The locks on the door were turned, and the door opened.  
  
Only to be slammed right in Heero's face.  
  
Heero allowed himself an exasperated sigh. 'Of course he'd be childish about it,' he thought.  
  
"What the fuck do you want?" the occupant yelled through the door, the tone low and dangerous.  
  
"Quatre sent me," Heero replied evenly. He knew that the door would open now, and he was right. The door slowly swung open.  
  
An enraged Duo Maxwell glared at him from the safety of the door. His long brown braid was sleep mussed, bangs sticking up in odd directions. He was still tanned and muscular; a black rose tattoo standing out on his upper right shoulder, a tattoo of barbed wire circled his upper left bicep, and a silver hoop glittered from his left earlobe. The same black wristwatch circled his left wrist. He wore a pair of baggy blue jeans that had slipped down his hips, showing off black boxer shorts. The ex-Gundam pilot was barefoot, and had a death grip on the door.  
  
"Why did he send you?" Duo growled.  
  
"A mission, Duo," Heero replied.  
  
Duo threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Aa! Wakatta ne! A mission, is it Yuy? Lovely! JUST FUCKING DANDY Yuy! Tell Quatre gomennasai, but I."  
  
Heero cut him off. "You have to take this mission Duo. Quatre can't."  
  
"I don't HAVE to do anything, Yuy, not a DAMN thing. Get the hell out of here." Duo was pissed, his eyes holding rage like they normally held laughter.  
  
"Did you not hear me? Quatre is unable to participate in this mission, thus the only available candidates are you and I," Heero said.  
  
"Did you not hear ME? I said I won't do it," and he stepped back to slam the door again.  
  
Heero moved quickly. He thrust his hand forward, stopping the door from closing, and then used his strength to push the door open. It caught the side of Duo's arm as it was shoved open, and Duo let out a hiss and pulled his arm to his chest, stumbling back a few steps from shock. This left the door unguarded, and Heero walked right into the apartment, and shut the door behind him. He leaned his right side against the door and crossed his arms, regarding Duo with a self-satisfied smirk.  
  
"I would have expected more from you Duo. Even you should have been able to anticipate that."  
  
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU'VE GOT NO FUCKING RIGHT TO BE HERE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" Duo exploded, finally losing it.  
  
He lunged at Heero, fully intending to smash that smirk into the door, but Heero sidestepped him effortlessly, and Duo's fist hit the door with a smack. Not skipping a beat, Heero grabbed Duo's arm and wrenched it behind his back. He shoved Duo against the door, and Duo's left arm came up to catch himself before his face slammed into the door as well. His left arm was quickly caught and tugged behind his back, Heero's weight pinning him fully to the door in a lock.  
  
"Get the fuck off me." Duo's voice was calmer, but he struggled.  
  
"I will 'get the fuck off' when you calm down," Heero said mockingly.  
  
Duo slowly ceased his struggles, sighing as he did so.  
  
"Are you through, Duo?" Heero asked after a bit.  
  
"Hai." The word was clipped. Heero had hurt his pride more than hurt him physically. Despite his earlier jibes, only Heero was able to have gotten the best of him. Had he been a normal civilian, Duo would have punched him into next week.  
  
Heero slowly stood, released Duo's arms, and stepped back a few steps. Duo turned around, rubbing his wrists absently, as he glowered at Heero, who had a few inches over Duo's 5'5", being at least 6 feet tall. (A/N: Not really likely, I know, but whatever. I like a tall Heero.)  
  
'When the hell did he get so tall?' Duo thought angrily. Shaking his head, he narrowed his eyes at Heero, growling "I see you've let yourself in, how about showing yourself out?"  
  
Heero let out a small sigh. He couldn't believe that Duo was still being a bullheaded idiot. "I'm not leaving until you agree to do this mission."  
  
Duo shrugged. "Sou ka. Have it your way." He stepped away from the door, brushing past Heero as he did so. He still moved with the liquid grace that Heero associated with him, his feet making soft padding noises on the tile floor. Duo had more tattoos on his back; the katakana for "Death" poked over his boxers on the right side in thick black strokes, "Pain" mirroring on the left. There was also a black cross on his upper right bicep, which Heero hadn't noticed since it had been behind the door.  
  
The door opened into a large room, which was divided into smaller sections by half walls. The living room was the biggest, and there was a bar with barstools that separated the kitchen from the living room. Duo wove through the living room, which had a black leather couch and recliner, a low coffee table that had quite a few take out soda cups and magazines spread over it and a rather large entertainment center.  
  
Heero followed Duo down a small hallway. There were two doors down this hallway, and Duo entered the one on the left, leaving it open behind him. Heero peeked in, and noted the large stereo system, bed with messy sheets, dresser overflowing with black clothing with more clothing spread over the floor with more magazines, a few books, and music disks. A massive music disk holder took up one wall, and the rest were covered in anime posters and pages torn out of motorcycle magazines. There was a door on the far wall for some reason.  
  
Heero leaned against the door jam and watched as Duo picked a tight black T- shirt off the floor and yanked it over his head roughly. Duo turned around and regarded the boy leaning against his door jam.  
  
"Welcome to my world, Yuy," he intoned darkly.  
  
"You haven't changed. Still leaving everything all over," Heero observed, glancing around with a look of distaste.  
  
"I'm the only one who lives here. It can look however the hell I want it to look. Though if I had known I was going to be having visitors, I would have cleaned up a bit. Oh, chotto matte, scratch that. I wouldn't clean up for you." The remark was bitter, and meant to hurt.  
  
Heero ignored the obvious scathing remark. "When should I brief you on the mission?"  
  
Duo threw his hands up in the air again, and let them fall to his thighs with a slap. "Ninmu, ninmu, ninmu! That's all that's ever been on your mind, isn't it Yuy?" he asked in a singsong voice.  
  
Heero just looked at him.  
  
Duo shrugged. "This must be some mission for *you* to come all the way here. Tell you what, I'll humor you, listen to what Q-man wanted you to say. just not right now. It's way too early to get back to work."  
  
Acknowledging the statement with a nod, Heero spun on the heel of his boot and walked back into the living room area. He felt Duo leave his room, shutting the door behind him. Having snagged a brush, Duo followed, undoing his braid as he walked. Heero sat on one of the barstools and watched as Duo brushed the tangles out of his braid and redid it. Duo then walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of soda out of the fridge, and popped it open with a bottle opener. He leaned back against the countertop, and studied Heero as he took a long chug from the bottle.  
  
Heero just looked at him with a raised brow and Duo stared right back, until it dawned on him. "Do you want one?" he asked finally. Heero nodded once, and Duo fetched him a soda. He purposely neglected to hand Heero the bottle opener, but Heero opened it anyway, and sipped it. He wasn't a fan of carbonated sugar water, but it was liquid and he was thirsty.  
  
Silence.  
  
"What do you do?" Heero asked, spinning his bottle around, not meeting Duo's eyes.  
  
"Betsuni," Duo replied icily, taking an angry gulp from his bottle.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Do you have a job?" Heero tried again after a few moments.  
  
"Iya."  
  
Heero looked up. "How do you afford this place?"  
  
Duo snickered. "Aren't we the budding conversationalist? Relenaoujou-san sure can work miracles, can't she? It almost seems as though you're trying to talk to me."  
  
Heero just grunted.  
  
"Oooh. lost your gift so soon?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Saaa. It's apparent that I'm no match for your conversation skills, and I've got shit to do. Sit here and talk to the wall, I'm sure it'll be much more interesting than me."  
  
Heero cocked an eyebrow. "Shit to do?"  
  
Duo ticked things off on his fingers, more to himself to make sure he'd remembered them all than for Heero's benefit. "I need to pick up a few parts for the 2 ways Prescott asked me to fiddle with, then I need to return the wires I'd gotten for Irving's portable, kuz they're the wrong size. After that I need to go and pick up Corey's motherboard to add more RAM. plus I'm all out of food so I need to go pick up something edible."  
  
Having said this, he set his half empty bottle on the counter and padded back down the hall, Heero deciding against following him. He knew that he was treading a very thin line by showing up at the braided boy's door; since it was obvious Duo still harbored ill feelings towards him. This was most evident in Duo's calling him "Yuy". He'd always called him "Heero" before. A frown settled on his features as he pondered the situation. He knew the only reason that Duo was even sharing the same oxygen as him was because of Quatre. He had to make the best of the opportunity this mission had presented him with; otherwise he'd never get another chance.  
  
The padding of feet announced Duo's presence. Heero glanced over at him, noting that Duo had washed up, and was holding a pair of socks in one hand and his own pair of 14 eye Docs in the other. Not even acknowledging his guest, Duo shuffled to the couch, and began pulling on his boots. When he was done, he stood and glanced at Heero.  
  
"Have fun talking to the wall," he murmured, before heading out the door.  
  
Heero slowly got to his feet, pushed his barstool in, and left the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him. He headed out into the parking lot, to see Duo climbing onto a black motorcycle. He walked across the blacktop and hoisted himself onto the bike. Duo took off without waiting for Heero to grab onto something, so he ended up holding onto Duo's shoulders as they roared into the city.  
  
* * *  
  
"I have to WHAT?!" Duo shrieked.  
  
Quatre Winner winced. Even over vid-phone, Duo's voice still carried. The somewhat hazy figure of Duo stared back at him from his couch; mouth open, eyes wide, his right hand disfigured and twitching. Had it been any other situation, Quatre would have snickered, but this wasn't the time to laugh.  
  
A quick glance to the right showed Heero, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his stomach, looking as stoic as ever. He hadn't even batted an eye when Quatre had briefed him on this mission, which was much better than how Duo was managing.  
  
'If you call freaking out managing' Quatre thought with an internal sigh. Outwardly, he smiled slightly and said, "Gomen Duo-kun. Demo, we've concluded that this would be the best time to engage the target, since he will be relaxed and not expecting."  
  
"A GAY CRUISE?!" Duo wailed, interrupting Quatre. He was off the couch and advancing towards the vid-screen, eye twitching.  
  
Quatre sighed. "As I said before Duo-kun, I am unable to participate in this mission because I would be recognized."  
  
"And Trowa is incapable because?!" Duo demanded.  
  
Quatre coughed softly, a pinkish hue staining his nose. "He has other duties." He quickly continued, "And Wufei is away on a mission himself, therefore you are the only person available."  
  
"I'll just bet that Trowa has other duties. You're just too protective to let him do this one. Well, I'm NOT available for this! There is no way in fucking hell that I will go on a *gay* cruise with Yuy. I don't care if this will destroy the world, or some other kind of disaster, there is no way!"  
  
Quatre wisely ignored the scathing remark about Trowa, mostly because it was the truth. He'd vetoed Trowa's participation in this mission immediately, and he knew that had it been reversed, Trowa would have done the same with him.  
  
Heero's remark of "You're acting childish" to Duo jerked Quatre back to the matter at hand.  
  
Duo turned to Heero, rage flashing in his eyes. "Who gives a damn if I'm acting 'childish'? I have spent enough time in your presence today to last me a lifetime! I prayed that I would never have to look at you ever again, and then you waltz into my house and tell me I have to pretend to be your lover?"  
  
Quatre interrupted before things got ugly and they had a repeat of the last Maxwell/Yuy brawl. "It will only be for a maximum of a week, Duo-kun, and this is a large ship. You don't have to spend all your time with Heero- kun."  
  
"I am NOT doing this Quatre, and that's final," Duo growled, before stalking from the room, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.  
  
Heero made a move to follow the braided teen, but Quatre's voice stopped him. "Matte yo Heero-kun. He's had a tough day, let him go"  
  
Heero shook his head. "Irrelevant. I don't care if he's just returned from brain surgery; we need him for this mission."  
  
Quatre was slightly taken aback by the slight tinge of humor, wondering if Heero himself had noticed it. He ignored the humor and said "I don't argue with you on that point, but we need to approach this problem from a different angle, since it's obvious that simply asking him isn't working. Even tapping into his sense of righteousness didn't yield results. We need a new plan of action..." he trailed off.  
  
Heero sighed. He needed a way to get Duo onto that ship. He had never turned a mission down, and he was not going to start now just because Duo was in a funk. Besides, he needed this mission's chance.  
  
"I know what you're thinking Heero-kun" Quatre said after a minute, "But you've got to understand. Duo-kun is very stubborn as far as emotions are concerned. It's to be expected that he would act this way."  
  
"This is a mission. Personal feelings do not factor into mission acceptance. You just do them."  
  
Quatre shook his head. "That attitude may work with you Heero-kun, but Duo- kun isn't you. If you'd but remember, that's exactly the same attitude that caused this rift between you in the first place."  
  
Heero scowled. "I am well aware of that."  
  
"Then I'm sure you're aware that Duo-kun's feelings won't change any easier than your feelings about missions will. You two will need to come to some sort of truce, and soon. You only have 2 days, Heero-kun. Ja ne."  
  
Quatre disappeared from the vid-screen, leaving Heero standing in the middle of Duo Maxwell's house, unsure of what to do next.  
  
* * *  
  
Duo had paced back and forth in his room for about 20 minutes, mulling the whole thing over. He knew that he was being childish, but he felt he was well within his limits to act as thus. He'd sworn back then to never give him another chance, and he was going to hang onto his vow. Duo Maxwell never lied, and if he said he was going to damn "Heero Yuy" to hell, then by God he'd do it.  
  
'I just don't understand why Trowa and Q-man can't do this mission. Okay, so Quatre is known by everybody, from the smallest street rat to the richest businessman. That's fine, but nobody knows who Trowa is. Hell, TROWA doesn't know who Trowa is. This is probably just a Quatre plan to get Yuy and myself talking again. Well, nice try Q-man, but I am not cracking. You'll just have to find somebody else to fulfill this mission's requirement of two people. I guess you'll just have to call Wufei back or something.' Duo thought with a small grin of satisfaction at having come to a consensus about this "mission."  
  
So with that, Duo shed his jeans and crawled into bed. He briefly thought about going back out into the living room and demanding that Yuy get his bastard ass out of his house, but decided against it. Even at his most pissed off, he wouldn't be able to MAKE Yuy leave, so that wasn't a good idea. Besides, he'd rather not look at that boy's face ever again; though he would LOVE to see the expression on Wufei's face when this mission was presented to him, if it was a real mission at all. Yuy probably wouldn't waste any more time here anyway, and was probably hauling Wufei back to Preventer's HQ right now.  
  
However, his plan to go to sleep and write the whole thing off didn't work as planned. He kept tossing and turning, since his mind refused to shut off. Normally he could fall asleep anywhere, something that Yuy had been quite fond of pointing out back when they'd still been talking.  
  
"You would sleep through a battle if it wouldn't get you killed," he'd said one time when he'd been in a light mood, which wasn't very often.  
  
Scowling, Duo rolled over again. The war had been over for almost three years. There weren't supposed to BE any more missions. Why was this one so special? He wouldn't get an answer to his question, since he freaked out so early in Quatre's briefing, and asking Quatre details about a mission he refused to participate in was certainly out of the question.  
  
A quick glance to his watch showed it to be 2:32 in the morning.  
  
'Good one, Duo-chan. Stay up all night agonizing about it, why don't you?'  
  
With a groan he sat up and stood, wincing as his muscles cracked. Running a hand through his bangs, he shuffled to the other door in his room and walked out onto the small deck that he'd paid extra to have. Still wearing his T-shirt and boxers, he sighed as he leaned against the railing. Yesterday had been the day from hell, but hopefully this next one would be better.  
  
The opening of the other door to the balcony a few minutes later surprised him so much he jumped. Turning around quickly he saw Heero standing in the doorway, which lead to the other bedroom that was only used by his buddies when they were too drunk to get back home safely. Heero had taken off his over shirt and boots, and had a look on his face that Duo couldn't read.  
  
"You're still here?" Duo demanded.  
  
"I wasn't asked to leave," Heero replied.  
  
"Of course you wouldn't leave without a written order. How about a verbal one? Leave."  
  
"You couldn't sleep?" Heero made it a question.  
  
"Why do you care? Shouldn't you be off dragging Wufei to Preventers or something?"  
  
Heero shook his head. "Wufei is away on Earth. He wouldn't be able to make it back in time to participate in this mission. He wouldn't participate anyway."  
  
"I wonder why." Duo muttered.  
  
"I won't ever see you again."  
  
Duo froze. "Nani?" he asked.  
  
"If you agree to do this mission, when it's over I will never see you again."  
  
This was certainly unexpected. Duo's mouth fell open from shock.  
  
"I don't go back on my word," Heero said stiffly. He didn't really want to have to resort to this action. In all honesty he missed Duo's playful chatter, and the friendship the braided boy had worked so hard to achieve. He'd actually planned to apologize to Duo on this mission, to ask if there was any way to salvage the broken ties that had been the only thing keeping him alive during the war. Hopefully, Duo would forgive him and not make him stick to his word and never see him again.  
  
Duo, however, was quickly weighing this new development in his head. If he could survive a few days with Yuy, (less if they found the target early on and eliminated him) then he would NEVER see him again. Plus he'd be able to go on a cruise, something he'd always wanted to do. This had some merit to it. It was a small sacrifice for a Yuy free life.  
  
"Fine, Yuy. You've got yourself a deal."  
  
Duo: ::outraged:: YOU'RE GOING TO END IT THERE?!  
  
Yama: Slacker.  
  
Kat: Why shouldn't I end it there?  
  
Duo: But there was no action! None at all! I mean, even your hints were hints!  
  
Yama: You expected Heero to rip your cloths off in the first chapter?  
  
Duo: ::mutters:: I was hoping.  
  
Kat: I finally get around to writing this damn fic, and then you bitch at me FOR writing it! Make up your mind.  
  
Jou: It's a *sort* of cliffhanga endin'.  
  
Kat: Exactly. You want people to come back and read your fic.  
  
Duo: Why the hell did you give me so many tattoos? What am I, a damn pincushion?  
  
Kat: can just see you going out randomly and getting them. 'Sides, it's my fic and I can write you however I want to, and I like you with tattoos. They match your character.  
  
Duo: ::rolls his eyes:: You need mental help. So, anyway, when do I stop hating Heero-kun?  
  
Heero: You hate me?  
  
Kat, Duo, Yama & Jou: GAHHHH!  
  
Heero: Nani?  
  
Jou: You'se just scared us, dat's all.  
  
Duo: 0_o H.Heero! Of course I don't hate you! This sadist is just writing a fic where I hate you.  
  
Heero: Hn.  
  
Kat: Why are you here, Heero-kun? Onee-sama let you out?  
  
Jou: Dat's Heero, eh? And let out of where?  
  
Yama: The one and only. See, Heero is the muse of Kat's Onee-san, and she doesn't let them out much.  
  
Heero: ::nods to Duo:: Yo, Duo. ::turns to Kat:: And yes, she told me to keep an eye on you. If you can force her to finish a fic, then she can make you finish yours too.  
  
Kat: o_0 Kowai yo. ::looks around, frightened, and then starts building a golden pyramid to bury herself in ala Lina from The Slayers::  
  
Jou: ::scoffs:: Coward. She's just your Onee-san. Daijoubu.  
  
Duo: You've not met Lilith, have you?  
  
Jou: ::scratches the back of his head:: Well. no. demo.  
  
Yama: My nii-chan is also one of her muses. How is Takeru-kun holding up, Heero?  
  
Heero: He's fine.  
  
Yama: ::shakes his head:: Well anyway, ff what you say is true about Lilith-san, then we're all doomed. These two couldn't finish a fic if their lives depended on it.  
  
Kat: ::from inside the pyramid:: Onee-sama wa kooooowaiiii desu!!  
  
Duo: ::shakes his head sadly:: Let's just end this travesty ourselves, since she is obviously occupied.  
  
Jou: Hai! Chotto matte minna-san! Chapter II should be out. ::eyes the pyramid:: eventually. 


	2. Chapter II

Obligatory Disclaimer Type Thinige - Chapter II  
  
Kat: Well, this would be Chapter II of my pathetic attempt at a 1x2 Gundam Wing fanfiction.  
  
Jou: It's not REALLY pathetic.  
  
Duo: Yes it is!  
  
Kat: Oh shut up, would you? I'm not very good at this kind of stuff.  
  
Yama: That is the dumbest excuse I've ever heard.  
  
Kat: Can it Angst-Boy, or I'll write you into a fic with Mimi.  
  
Yama: ::scoffs:: You'd never finish it.  
  
Kat: ::evil gleam in eye:: To torment you I would.  
  
Yama: ::pales:: I'll be good.  
  
Jou: That was. interestin'.  
  
Kat: ::holds herself up high, pleased with herself:: v^___^v I thought so!  
  
Jou: 0_0 Kowai yo.  
  
Heero: Baka. Hurry up and write.  
  
Kat: ::deflates, looking put out:: Heero-kun, you're no fun.  
  
Duo: And put some action in this one!  
  
Yama: ::sigh:: You're being delusional Shinigami no baka.  
  
Jou: @_@ Whyzat?  
  
Yama: Because it's physically impossible for Kat to finish a fic, much less get past shounen ai. You need to face the facts.  
  
Duo: Damn prude author.  
  
Kat: ::sticks her tongue out:: Urusai! I'm trying here, okay? Leave me alone.  
  
Heero: Get on with it.  
  
Kat: Haihai, Heero-kun. Once again, I state that this is a FANFICTION. I do not own Gundam Wing. I'm borrowing the "cruse/mission idea" from Deena- san. I also do not own the movie "Labyrinth", though I am trying to catch David Bowie. Anyway, blame the "muses", not me.  
  
Yama: I had nothing to do with this, it's Shinigami no baka's idea.  
  
Duo: Chukuso! Like you're innocent Ishida!  
  
Kat: ::sigh:: And they got along so well when I first caught them. how times change.  
  
Jou: And don't sue us. All ya'll get is Kat's Duel Monsters deck kuz she'll never win a match.  
  
Kat: ::twaps Jou on the head:: How DARE you try to give away my deck. I may have lost that round to you, but I'll beat you next time. Now, on with the fic type thing.  
  
NOTES: "____" -speaking  
  
'____' -thinking to oneself  
  
* * * -scene change  
  
(A/N: ) - author's notes  
  
~*~*Am I Lying to Myself*~*~  
  
"You've got to be kidding me."  
  
Duo, wearing a pair of black pants with a black short sleeved shirt, buttoned only twice in the middle of his chest to show off the blue undershirt he was wearing, and his Docs let his bags drop to the floor; glancing around uncertainly. This wasn't what he'd expected, that was for sure.  
  
"Nani?" Heero asked, walking into the room behind Duo. Duo had tossed him a black shirt with a blue ring around the collar and blue short sleeves, and a pair of khaki cargo pants that morning. Heero had grudgingly pulled them on, along with his boots.  
  
The room was large, and had a small loveseat and two chairs grouped around a small bar and vid-screen, and a large bed against the far wall. The walls were a pale pink that matched the loveseat and chairs. The carpet was a dark red. The bedspread was white, and there were pink and red heart shaped pillows thrown over it. There was a vanity made out of light wood that matched the wood on the bed and furniture, and there was another separate bureau made out of white wicker. Two night tables of the same light wood stood on either sides of the bed, each with a lamp with a pink shade with red hearts. A door in the left wall more than likely lead to the bathroom.  
  
"This is so tacky," Duo continued to whine.  
  
Heero took a look around the room, and raised an eyebrow. This truly was a designing disaster.  
  
Grumbling, Duo grabbed his bags and hauled them over to the bed. He'd brought two, one with nicer cloths to wear when he had to mingle with the other people, and the other held mission related paraphernalia, and his usual clothing and necessities.  
  
Heero followed Duo into the room, and shut the door behind him. He'd opted for one bag, since Duo was carrying the mission gear, and he wasted no time in dumping his bag in a chair.  
  
Duo glanced around again, and muttered "I wonder if the other rooms are this tacky."  
  
"Probably," Heero replied.  
  
Duo raised an eyebrow at that remark, since he'd been talking to himself. "What Yuy, you mean to tell me that you MIND the décor? I assumed that as long as it was habitable, you would sleep anywhere."  
  
"Even I have my limits," Heero muttered. Truthfully, he liked being surrounded by darker colors like green and blue. Hearts were totally out. People could actually SLEEP in this room?  
  
"Hmmm. nice to know," Duo murmured as he lazily flipped through the program guide sitting on the nightstand, not really paying attention.  
  
Conversation between the two ex-pilots had been mostly insults from Duo and short, tense replies from Heero since that night on the deck. Duo just wouldn't treat Heero civilly, and they were far from acting like the couple they were supposed to be on this cruise.  
  
Duo glanced around. He figured that they shouldn't put their stuff away in the nice dressers provided incase they needed to be rescued from this mission, though how that would happen he wasn't exactly sure. This left him with nothing to do, in the same room as Yuy.  
  
"Do we know the location of the target's quarters?" he asked finally.  
  
Heero shook his head. "Iya. I suggest we go search for him."  
  
Duo swore. "Well shit. Do we have anything we can use, or are we just supposed to break down every door in this damned place looking for this idiot?"  
  
Heero didn't even bat an eyelash. "We were supplied with a picture of the target. I don't think it'll go too well if you don't know what the target looks like."  
  
"Shut the hell up and give me the damn picture, Yuy," Duo growled.  
  
Heero took the file out of his bag, flipped through it for a minute before he handed him a full page high gloss print of the target, Page Myers, the head of QRM Corporation, one of the firms set up to work out the finances of the ESA that were disrupted when OZ took over. He looked to be in his early twenties, and was quite tanned. His brown hair was untidy, his eyes were black ice chips behind neat wire rim glasses, and he was quite handsome in the face. He had a mole under his left eye; and in the picture he was wearing a blue casual button up shirt, showing he was muscular, but not overly so.  
  
"He looks every bit the businessman, except for the hair. That's not typical businessman issue, hair like that," Duo observed.  
  
"The money used to pay for this trip was embezzled. Not a nice character," Heero replied dryly.  
  
Duo snorted. "No shit, Yuy. I read the damn file." His eyes narrowed. "He doesn't look gay. Wonder what would happen if the other corporate big shots found out he swung the other way. Do we know who he's here with?"  
  
"The name from the passengers list is Trac Wellton, but a photo was not available."  
  
"So Page's boytoy could be anybody on this damned ship. K'so," Duo grumbled sourly. "We wouldn't know unless we saw him with Myers. Just our damn rotten luck. Yosh'. Iku yo," Duo said, motioning to the door.  
  
"Remember, we're in 4B24."  
  
A few elevator rides and several wrong turns later found them in one of the many dining areas offered on this cruise.  
  
"Chukuso. This thing isn't a ship, it's a labyrinth" Duo grumbled sourly.  
  
"So Myers would be the Goblin King?" Heero asked.  
  
"Yeah, just without the nice voice," Duo replied absently, when suddenly his head whipped around at Heero in surprise. "You actually saw the movie?"  
  
Heero shrugged. "Relena watches it a lot on flights."  
  
A quick glance around the dining area showed dozens of happy, jovial couples sitting around small round tables, eating and talking animatedly. Heero quickly noted a table that put their backs at a wall and gave them a clear view of the entrance. So before he'd really thought about it, he'd lightly snagged Duo's right hand, and was walking in the direction of the table, a reluctant Duo allowing Heero to drag him. He'd wanted to jerk his wrist from Yuy's hand and demand to never be touched again; but since they were in public and supposed to be dating, he bit his tongue and followed Yuy to the table he'd picked out.  
  
Heero released his hand as they took their seats, and Duo quickly yanked it under the table so he could rub it with his other hand. The cool air after being in Heero's warm grip made him more aware of the lack of touching, or so he told himself.  
  
"So, now what?" Duo snapped, still rubbing his hand absently.  
  
"Did you want to eat something? I'll sit here so the table won't be confiscated." Heero offered out of the blue, taking Duo aback.  
  
His mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds, before he finally managed to stammer "A.arigatou. Did you want something?"  
  
Heero frowned slightly as he quickly took in the options presented at this particular dining area. None of it was really appetizing to him; but since he needed his energy for this mission he'd just have to pick something that wasn't too terribly bad for him. "Some beef and broccoli, rice and a bottle of water."  
  
Duo nodded and headed over to the counter. He nibbled on his thumb nail as he tried to pick something to eat before he'd realized that he'd actually said 'thank you' to Heero Yuy; and to top that, was actually getting food for him.  
  
'No, this is just to keep the table from being snagged, since it puts the wall at our backs with a good view of the door. You are NOT giving him a chance by getting food. You would have needed to eat anyway, Duo-chan'. With that resolved, he turned his attention to the food, and after careful consideration he picked chicken lo mein.  
  
"I'd like a beef and broccoli with a side of rice, an order of the chicken lo mein, with fried rice, and two bottles of water."  
  
After paying, he took the tray back to the table that Heero had claimed, and took his seat.  
  
"Sankyuu, Duo," Heero said as he separated his chopsticks.  
  
Duo nodded dumbly. "You're welcome."  
  
They ate quietly, but the target did not enter their dining area.  
  
"Maybe we should go," Duo suggested after an hour.  
  
"Aa. Iku yo," Heero replied with a last glance around.  
  
They stood and walked back to the elevator, Duo pushing the up button. Another male couple joined them and Heero's hand shot out and grabbed Duo's hand, entwining their fingers. Duo could only stare at Heero's larger, darker fingers laced with his. Though they were supposed to be dating and he knew of none of his buddies asked to touch their girlfriends, he and Yuy would STILL need to have a *talk* about this when they got back to their room.  
  
"Going up?" one of the men asked politely. He had red hair so dark it was almost auburn that fell in front of large hazel eyes, and was wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. He was leaning back against the shoulder of a taller man wearing a lightweight blue sweatshirt and khakis, whose dark hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. (A/N: The redhead would be voiced by Yuuki Hiro and the brunette would be voiced by Ogata Megumi.)  
  
"Aa," Heero replied with a simple nod of his head.  
  
The dark haired man studied the two boys in front of him, noting their hands and the fact that they were standing as far away from each other as possible with their fingers laced together. He also noted that the long haired boy was eyeing their clasped hands with an unreadable expression. He didn't quite know what to make of these two boys, if they were having an argument or just not used to being in public together; the latter probably being the most accurate. The long haired one looked quite uncomfortable, leading the dark haired man to conclude that he probably hadn't come out of the closet publicly.  
  
So, to try to put the long haired one at ease, he quietly said "Daijoubu."  
  
"Nani?" Duo asked, looking up at him curiously  
  
In the same quiet voice the man replied, "Here it's okay to be together, that's what this cruise is for. There's nobody here to look down on you."  
  
Violet eyes widened in panic. 'What was this guy going on about? Does he expect Yuy and I to start making out in the hallway or something?'  
  
Heero, however, was rationalizing this encounter. Obviously he and Duo were doing something wrong for this stranger to have spoken to them about it. He studied the couple with narrowed eyes. The shorter man was leaning back against the shoulder of the taller one, who had his arm lightly around the waist of the shorter one. Apparently this was how couples were supposed to act, so Heero would mimic them.  
  
The elevator dinged and the doors swung open. Heero walked in first, dragging Duo behind him. The two men followed, and the doors closed behind them.  
  
"Which floor?" the redhead asked, since he was standing next to the buttons.  
  
"Four," Heero replied.  
  
Duo glanced around, and couldn't help but smile grimly. There was a soft clicking noise as they went past each floor, reminding him of Shin Seiki Evangelion, a pre-AC Japanese anime, which had a lot of elevator scenes. (A/N: Gomen minna-san!! This is my shameless Eva plug for this fic!)  
  
Unbeknownst to Duo, Heero was slowly snaking his arm around Duo's middle, to copy the couple in the elevator with them. He was trying to get this dating thing down properly.  
  
"Where are you from?" the redhead asked into the silence.  
  
"I'm from L2, Heero's from L1," Duo replied automatically, not even realizing he'd said "Heero" instead of "Yuy".  
  
He finally noticed Heero's arm when he was pulled back against the taller boy's chest. Duo's eyes bugged out and he let out an undignified meep.  
  
The couple in the elevator exchanged glances, but didn't comment. It seemed as though the short haired one was showing off.  
  
'What the hell is Yuy doing?' Duo thought in a panic, his violet eyes large. His backside was fitted flush against Heero's frame, his damn left arm wrapped around his waist to keep him there. He knew better than to struggle, because Heero wouldn't let him go until he was ready. 'Besides,' the reasonable part of his brain added, 'couples are supposed to be touchy feely. YOU of all people should know that Duo-chan.'  
  
The ding of the fourth floor alerted the two, and Duo bent to make a hasty retreat off the elevator and perhaps out the nearest port hole, but Heero's arm wouldn't budge. Heero moved Duo to his left side and they walked out of the elevator, his arm still around Duo's middle.  
  
"Ja! Matta ne!" the redhead called from the elevator, before it closed and continued its rise.  
  
Duo had planned to throw a fit at Heero the second they got out of the elevator, but there was a group of people waiting for the down elevator, and each hallway was full until they got to their room. Cursing his luck, Duo figured that Heero was not going to release him until they got to their room. His arm was pressed to his side and was quite uncomfortable, but he'd be damned if he was going to wrap his arm around Yuy's waist.  
  
They stopped in front of their room, and Heero let Duo go to fish the key out of his pocket. He unlocked the door and walked inside, flipping on the light. Duo walked in behind him, stalked to the bed, and began digging through his bags.  
  
Heero knew that Duo was angry, since the boy had a habit of shaking when he was angry, and Duo had been shaking ever since he'd grabbed his hand while waiting for the elevator. However, they were supposed to be dating, and that's what dating people were supposed to do. Wasn't it?  
  
"Duo, I." he began, but Duo cut him off.  
  
"I'm going to the pool. Ja," he snapped as he walked quickly past Heero, snatched the key from Heero's grip, letting the door slam behind him. Heero stared blankly at the door, not quite sure what to do.  
  
'This is getting routine,' he thought darkly.  
  
* * *  
  
An hour later found Duo swimming furious laps across the Olympic sized pool on the 6th level, since most people were in the top deck in the sun, or still trying to find their way around. He needed to be moving, otherwise he would think, and that would be bad. He didn't want to think about Yuy and this mission and Yuy touching him. Yes, thinking was bad.  
  
When he got to the edge, he pulled himself out of the pool, and then brought his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs. He was tired, after swimming so hard for so long. He brushed his dripping bangs out of his eyes, sighing as he did so.  
  
He knew he was being totally stupid, because this was a GAY cruise. That involved couples of the same sex being together. That by itself was fine. He didn't mind Quatre and Trowa being gay. It was the combination of BEING gay and BEING gay with Yuy that got to him.  
  
Yuy.  
  
His former friend, until Duo had tried to get his mind off of missions. It had turned out badly, hence the silence between them for so long. Duo knew that part of it was because he'd tried to get Yuy to act human, and Yuy had retaliated, clinging to his Perfect Solider guise like a lifeline.  
  
Duo shook his head. He would rather not think about the events of that fateful day almost 3 years ago when their friendship had fallen apart. He didn't need to rub anymore salt into the wound, he'd done that enough over the years as it was.  
  
He stood, and then blatantly remembered that he hadn't brought a towel, and cursed. He was proud of himself for at least remembering to grab his pair of black trunks before he fled from their room. 'Damnit, I don't want to walk back dripping and freezing, though I doubt I'd be able to anyway.'  
  
"Hai," said a slightly nasal voice to his left.  
  
Duo turned to see Heero holding out a beach towel. "Sankyuu," he murmured, dumbstruck. He took the towel from Heero's out stretched hand automatically, scrubbed himself down quickly, and then wrapped the towel around his hair to keep it from dripping. His teeth had started to chatter from the chill, though he tried hard to hide it.  
  
"You need to get dressed," Heero said quietly.  
  
"Wakatta," Duo replied, shuffling to the chair he'd tossed his cloths on earlier, then shook his head. Since he couldn't put his pants on over his wet trunks, he simply gathered his boots and clothing and moved towards the exit. Heero fell into step behind him, and would have stayed silent and let Duo lead them all over this ship, had it not been for the fact that Duo was shivering. Though it wasn't horribly cold on the ship, the water drying on Duo's skin and the fact that his body temperature was slowly raising made him shiver, and it wouldn't be good if Duo fell ill.  
  
'For the mission,' Heero hastily added mentally.  
  
"We need to take this elevator," Heero said, pointing to the hallway to their left.  
  
Duo nodded, and hit the up button.  
  
While they waited, he looked at Heero, and before he'd really thought about it, blurted out "Why did you follow me?"  
  
He saw Heero hesitate, and frowned.  
  
"It would be unwise to engage the target without you," was Heero's reply. Duo was not surprised, but let the comment slide.  
  
The door dinged and opened, revealing 3 conversing people inside, a blonde and redheaded female couple and a blue haired man. Duo walked in first, Heero following him. Since they were the last ones in, Heero took the spot next to the keypad and taped the 4th floor button.  
  
".he needs to lighten up, that's all," the man was saying.  
  
"Gomen nasai," the blonde offered.  
  
"Daijoubu Mikki-san. I just wish he would embrace himself and what he is. I love him, and I hate seeing him this way."  
  
"Why did he come?" asked the redhead.  
  
"Because I asked him to. He'd do anything for me, truly. I just wish he could do this," the man sighed.  
  
The elevator dinged as it opened on the 4th floor, and Heero and Duo stepped out, and headed for their room. Heero opened the door and flipped on the light.  
  
"Get a shower, Duo," he said, and pointed to the bathroom door.  
  
"Hai, hai, 'Ka-sama," Duo muttered, the old joke falling from his lips before he could stop himself.  
  
The corners of Heero's lips twitched up in a smile.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yama: ::snickers:: Shinigami no baka meeped!  
  
Duo: I do *not* meep.  
  
Kat: Well, now you do Duo-kun. See, Heero-kun isn't complaining.  
  
Heero: .  
  
Yama: I don't think he'd complain about anything.  
  
Jou: Old joke?  
  
Kat: I sort of envisioned Quatre being all mother hen about the pilots, to the point they started calling him "Ka-sama" as a joke. That's what I meant. It's not from the real show, but I thought it was funny.  
  
Heero: What is the Goblin King?  
  
Yama: It's from a movie called "Labyrinth". It stars David Bowie, and some really awesome puppets.  
  
Jou: It's about dis girl who wishes her brudda away, so the Goblin King takes her brudda and she has to run da Labyrinth ta find him. I don't get how someone could wish der sibling away.  
  
Duo: It's actually a really good movie if you IGNORE Sarah.  
  
Jou: I liked Hoggle.  
  
Kat: Of course you would.  
  
Yama: Good soundtrack on that, though it's not my usual style of music.  
  
Kat: Okay, enough on Laby. Chapter III will be up soon. Ja ne! 


End file.
